Yesterday was the day that I was supposed to be sober for 6 years. I forgot all about it until I was sitting at the dinner table and looked down at my watch and saw the date May 17. Oh shit its May 17th I thought. I flood of feelings came up that I wasn't expecting. Did I let myself down? Should I start over? The thought of starting over is so daunting and seems like a bad idea. I felt like I was just counting the days and collecting time that I could never cash in. When I first started counting the days of sobriety I really needed it and it felt like every day sober was a huge achievement. Don't get me wrong, it was. It was a struggle to change my behavior and not rely on this crutch that I was leaning on so heavily to get out of the house, to be social, to not judge myself so harshly on any mistakes that I made that day, week or month. What I found is a new crutch and that was, and still is, my camera. I could go to parties and interact with every person at the party, take their picture and not feel socially awkward or left out because I wasn't drinking anymore. Photography has now become so much more for me. It's now my full-time passion, purpose and my career. So, I don't want to measure the days by something that I don't do everyday. That means I need a new ritual. Instead, I'm going to start celebrating something that I DO everyday. Starting today, May 18th, I'm going to capture a new photo everyday and post it to this blog for one year. Thinking about the big picture (pun intended) is a bit overwhelming. I don't have a theme yet, I don't really know what the days will bring, but if I do the work one day at a time, I know I will succeed!
I hope you walk through this door with me and follow along on my journey. Join in if you want to!
Love, Create, Inspire